Sunday, October 24, 2010
Halloween Series: Interview with Jason Voorhes
Today's creepy thing in the blog world.
This is another in my series every Sunday until Halloween in which I interview a horror movie killer. This interview today is with Jason Voorhes.
AUTUMN: Some people might call you a real mama’s boy, Jason. What do you think?
JASON: (muffled voice from behind the hockey mask) My mommy was a good woman. She worked hard to avenge my death.
AUTUMN: (blinks) But, you didn’t really die, did you?
JASON: (Shakes his head and shrugs)
AUTUMN: Why do you continue to kill people here at the lake when you know none of them had anything to do with your drowning?
JASON: They’re having sex in my woods! Getting drunk! Getting high!
AUTUMN: So, this is a moral issue?
JASON: Moral? Hell no! I’m fucking jealous! Who the hell is going to get drunk or high with me? Who’s going to make love with me?
AUTUMN: Yes, that’s true.
JASON: Of course, you realize I can’t let you leave this cabin.
AUTUMN: Hmm? (scoots her chair back)
JASON: I can’t let a woman get away when she’s so vulnerable and alone in the camp. That would go against everything I’ve worked so hard to achieve. (reaches for his machete and stands up)
AUTUMN: (shuffles through her purse) I have a beer, would you like to have it?
JASON: (sits back down, sets aside the machete) That’s real thoughtful. (snaps it open and downs it in one gulp) You got a joint?
AUTUMN: (shuffles through her purse) Sorry.
JASON: Then, we can get right down to the sex now. (stands up)
AUTUMN: (stands up cautiously) I tell you what, Jason. Why don’t you just get out of those uncomfortable clothes while I put on the sexy little nightie I have in the trunk of my car?
JASON: Sounds good to me. (unbuttons his shirt)
AUTUMN: (Rushes to the car and starts it up, taking off down the lakeside road towards town)
Some of these bad guys are simply dumber than others. Jason's a real tree stump--thankfully!
at 1:00:00 AM