Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Dale the Doll: She Slipped Me a Mickey!


**DO NOT MISS THURSDAY'S EPISODE OF "FACT OR FAKED" ON SYFY! POSTS ABOUT IT FRIDAY--A REVIEW AND ANOTHER EPISODE OF LAUGH!**

Here's what I remember on Saturday night when the Human was having her ghost hunt at the hotel. We got to the room. She unloaded me from the overpacked suitcase. She propped me up on the bed and then proceeded to change--in front of me! (I cannot close my eyes, so what's a guy to do???)

She put on a swimsuit and went to the pool with her buddies. I remained behind with an open bottle of champagne at the bedside. I could have turned on the TV, but the remote control was too high up. I couldn't climb and was still cramped up from being in the damned suitcase.

I looked around for something to do, but all there was were a bunch of ghost hunting equipment that frightens me, her tool belt, and that crazy lacy stuff she was wearing under her clothes (made my eyelid twitch to sit so close to it). Enough time studying the Victoria's Secret label and I was ready for a drink. Why the hell didn't this Victoria share her secret with the doll girls???

I admit, I sipped the champagne. Just the little bit left in her cup. Then, I got the bottle. The next thing I knew, I woke up the floor and sunlight was streaming through the window. I missed the ghost hunt. I missed the photo opportunities. Damn! I missed the stupid human strobe light dancing (admittedly a hilarious carnival of stupidity).

I do not understand what happened to me and why I would miss a ghost hunting opportunity with the lovely Miss Julie. The only explanation I can find is that she slipped me a Mickey. Put it into the champagne bottle. It's the only explanation because I am certain I can hold my liquor.

I awakened with a throbbing plastic headache and my eyes were dry. I felt a bit queasy when she shoved me back into the suitcase. All I have for evidence I was at this event is this hideous picture (above). I believe I set the timer to take a picture but didn't realize it would take so long to shoot, so I took a swig while I was waiting. Oh, the humiliation.

The next ghost hunt, I will not drink, even if her unmentionables drive me to it!

10 comments:

  1. i LOVE dale the doll!! please, make sure he gets lots of regular shows on here! (& , yes, i AM buttering him up...if you're smart, you will too!) lol!

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  2. Dale you're a drunk,and a pill popper!
    It's time for a intervention.

    I would also like to say, your word verification wanted me to type the word "tardles" before approving this comment.
    What's up with that ?

    ReplyDelete
  3. You can't hold your liquor little buddy. We tried to wake you up, but you wouldn't budge. Maybe next time you will lay off the booze. The last time you drank you were hitting on all the females statues at the cemetery.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Libby;
    A very smart woman!

    Max;
    She drove me to do it!

    Julie;
    Well, next time don't leave me lonely with an open bottle. What's a doll to do?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Admit it, Dale, you just swooned due to extended exposure to the VS wear and your own imagination. Lightweight.

    ReplyDelete
  6. MM;
    Admittedly, the dolls I have known did not sport such frilly things. How do human males ever concentrate?

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  7. You're lucky nothing more heinous happened, Dale.

    Or perhaps it did.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Don't get me started with those kind of thoughts--they could have dressed me in a girl's dress and paraded me around the hotel for all I know. God, I hope there's no pictures of that out on the internet...

    ReplyDelete
  9. Hi Dale,

    Maybe this will perk you up:

    Sometimes there’s not much work around. In times like these, this is often especially true for ventriloquists. One day, two out-of-work ventriloquists are talking on the phone to each other and lamenting their condition. The older one says, “Just between you and me, I’ve been moonlighting lately as a medium.”


    The young ventriloquist is quite impressed. “Really?” he says. “I didn’t know that you were psychic!”

    “Well, to tell you the truth, I’m not,” confesses the older man. “But what I did was rent a storefront and bought a small round table, a crystal ball, and a turban. Then, when people come in, I throw my voice and they think that they’re talking to their dead relatives.”

    “What a great idea!” says the young ventriloquist.

    “You should try it too,” suggests the first man. “You’ll see, it works great.”

    The next day, the young man goes out, rents a little storefront, and buys a table, a crystal ball, and a turban. He opens up for business, and an hour later a middle-aged woman walks in. She sits down at the table across from the ventriloquist and asks him, “Can you put me in touch with my long-lost husband?”

    “I sure can!” he answers. “Why, for just a hundred pounds, you can hear your husband speak to you from behind that curtain over there. Now I must warn you that his voice might sound a little different, but that’s because he’s talking to you from the spirit world.”

    “That’s wonderful,” says the woman eagerly.

    “For a hundred and fifty pounds,” the ventriloquist says, “you could have a two-way conversation with your husband, and talk back and forth with him.”

    The woman’s voice rises in anticipation as she asks, “You mean, I could communicate directly with my dear departed Hubert?”

    “Not only that,” says the ventriloquist, getting just as excited as the woman, “but for two hundred pounds, you could actually carry on a two-way conversation with your husband while I’m drinking a glass of water!”

    ReplyDelete
  10. Barry;
    Now, that was a good one! (har har har). I might consider that if I can ever escape the Human's house. Just think, she's a psychic, I'm a ventriloquist doll. We could have had a helluva road show if she'd just put the two together...

    ReplyDelete

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